even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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