what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize