Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
