Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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