She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize