best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize