I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
