did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
