Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
