I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My vagina just clenched in fear
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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