I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
