Jerry, you need to find god
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
