A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
