Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize