Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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