Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
