We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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