So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
