hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
