how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
This baby is an asshole
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
