I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
