It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
