just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize