just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
