Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I think I just sharted jello shots
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
