How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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