If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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