A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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