I swear she didn't look like that last week.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
