Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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