i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
