just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
