he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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