you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize