I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
