The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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