Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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