Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
