OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
