He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
