Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
