He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
