well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
this is an emotional support booty call
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize