i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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