I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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