Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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