One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
