8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think I died a long time ago.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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