what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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