i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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