Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
