I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
So squirting runs in the family.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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