I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize