I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
