That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
