too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
