Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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