so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
