I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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