You smell like a Billy Joel song
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
