is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
