I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Randomize