just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
