i think i have herpe
just one?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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