Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
