How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
