Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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