I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
