I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize