Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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