you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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