He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
